I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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