He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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