Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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