I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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