please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
