put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My brain says no but my pants say off.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
