We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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