break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
her vagine was all disorganized.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize