FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
