I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize