That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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