so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
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