I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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