i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
