I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
