Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
