Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
