oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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