I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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