Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
