I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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