Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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