I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
