Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize