I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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