Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
