spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
