it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
