i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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