fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
