hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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