We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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