i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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