He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
