I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
