There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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