Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i love accidental penises.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize