It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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