CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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