I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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