I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
