How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize