This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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