smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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