I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
