Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
