I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
