I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Randomize
