conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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