i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize