My hand turned me down
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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