Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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