Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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