I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
