I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I love you.
Bad choice
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
