I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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