So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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