I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Come see our sink grown plant.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
