ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
