Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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