i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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