sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
