I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
