Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
